By Chioma Rosemary Onyekaba
If no one ever raped or violated you, whether you were a virgin or not, understanding this pain may be difficult. It may sound exaggerated or imagined because the world has normalized women’s suffering so deeply that our pain must scream before it’s believed.
It is still in Nigeria that a husband can rape his wife and boldly ask, “Will you call this rape too?” as if marriage vows were a license to violate.
It would almost be less horrifying if the woman were awake but imagine raping an unconscious woman, weak, under the effect of antidepressants, and still having the mouth to say it wasn’t rape. That’s not love. That’s evil with a wedding ring.
It is still in this same country that a woman, trembling in tears after such cruelty, will be met with mockery and disbelief. People? hypocrites in fine clothing will ask,
“Can a husband rape his wife?”
And just like that, the cycle of silence begins again.
It is still in this country that someone will comment under the news of a raped child and defend the culprit by saying, “At least he did it inside his house and protected his marriage.”
Imagine that!
These same marriages we are told to “protect at all cost” one day, they’ll become the burial ground of too many women’s voices.
In this same country, victims become the accused, while the true offenders are shielded by culture, religion, and shame.
A woman who speaks up is told she’s embarrassing her family.
A child who cries for help is told to be quiet so she won’t “spoil” the family name.
And a society that should fight for justice laughs, scrolls, and moves on.
No one understands the emptiness in the heart of a raped woman, the way her laughter sounds borrowed, the way her trust breaks quietly, the way her reflection feels like a stranger she can’t recognize anymore.
So before you ask, “Why didn’t she speak sooner?” ask yourself, Would you have believed her if she did?
Until Nigeria learns that consent is sacred, that marriage does not erase a woman’s right to say no, that silence is not consent, and that rape is never justified, we will keep breeding monsters and silencing angels.
Let’s stop romanticizing abuse and start humanizing pain.
Let’s stop defending rapists in agbadas, collars, or kaftans with matching canvas shoes!
Let’s stop asking foolish questions like “Can a husband rape his wife?” because yes, he can.
And sadly, he does every single opportunity he gets while the world watches and the victims carry the shame that was never theirs.
Chioma Rosemary Onyekaba
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#JusticeForVictims #EndRapeCulture #ProtectTheGirlChild #ItIsACrimeToBeAGirl #ChiomaRosemaryOnyekaba #AllTimesGlobalMagazine
